undertaker... sacred ritual that is both artistic, spiritual and vital...

I whisper more in conversation... speaking loudly creates disconnect. A low voice makes everyone more comfortable. Whispering is an art form.

Silence is better.

looking out at my treehouse, from my row boat, on a pond, under the stars.... alone.

my plant.

"To realize pure mind in your delusion is practice, If you try to expel the delusion it will only persist the more. Just say, 'Oh, this is just delusion,' and do not be bothered by it."
Shunryu Suzuki

the fruit of silence is prayer
the fruit of prayer is faith
the fruit of faith is love
the fruit of love is service
the fruit of service is peace. ~ Mother Teresa

what does it mean to be generous? i mean truly generous?

last year, i spent a great deal of time trying... generosity and kindness.

i worked in a battered women's shelter, worked with the homeless, and tried to be available to friends and family in any way i could. was i generous? sounds like it... but it is not so...

i gave of my material possessions without any pause. it didn't hurt me to give of my money, clothing, food, or trinkets because i know they are of little importance and provide no real satisfaction to me as a person. by giving these things to those who needed or wanted them, i felt a sense of service and peace... yet love never crossed my mind.

i gave of time, energy, and body... spending hours with those in the midst of circumstances that could break even the strongest spirit. i felt gratitude at my fortune and empathy for their misfortune, all the while keeping hope in my heart by way of my hands to better their situations and hopefully their lives. yet prayer never entered the equation...

i've had tons of conversations with family and friends about the nature of things, both wholesome and unwholesome, quoting books i had read, thoughts and feelings i had and beliefs i hold true... all the while never questioning if my 'wisdom' brought peace or fear, stillness or chaos. was i generous?

giving is a wish granting jewel
fulfilling the hopes of living beings
the best weapon with which to cut the knot of miserliness
a bodhisattva action which gives rise to indomitable courage
and spreads one's fame in the ten directions
knowing this, the wise follow the good path of Completely giving body, possessions, and virtue...

so i am going to do this again...
working on perfecting my generosity
reaching out towards the true benefit
and remembering to perform with:

meditation before my action
faith in my movement
love as my motivation
and service being the manifestation
so that the fruitation of my intention is peace...

i couldn't resist!

Artist: Ladytron
Honored on Sasha Involver 2

i often wonder if i'm being to harsh.

if what i think i see in others is merely my way of usurping their power. am i really understanding what is going on inside their hearts and minds or am i simply creating a reason to not engage, or trust?

it all seems futile when you sit back and really think about it.

i know what my needs are. what i would like to offer to those who seem to get my stream of thought, my way of being.
either i trust in this capability in others and allow whatever energy is meant, to flow or i prevent it from flowing by becoming what i think they are...

hmmm....

as a dream, there is a garden. no matter is to big or small, all things reside whether wholesome or unwholesome... because it is the garden. the snails and insects walk under the radar of earth and leaf. few are working to create a place of comfortable abundance for their families. others are simply waiting for the work to be done, so that the simple movement of mine can occur. then their are the butterflies and sparrows who have come to sun themselves, meet and greet, smile and sing, then leave. it doesn't matter what their intention is in coming... they have arrived and they know the benefit of celebration.

let us not forget the crows who don't enter the garden because it is not a dance they find appealing. they sit, high above it all and add melody here and there, never interfering, but always around... just in case an appealing invitation comes their way... where refusal is impossible and the offering so sweet.

the flowers and trees have a responsibility here as well. they sense the necessity of their being to create shade and seed for relaxation and feeding. they sit quietly, offering nothing more and taking nothing in return for their valuable offering. it is because they add this benefit, all who have come to enjoy are greatly improved...

now the question becomes who are you in this scenerio? is your addition to this celebration visible or hidden, quiet or volumious, flowing above or beneath... or maybe their is nothing of this scenerio in you and it is time for something different.

silence and service.

the creation of ideas that i think show the bounty of my brand of love in silent meditation. my confidence and courage may bring my silent reflections into fruitation.

my heart is overflowing with my desire to serve. to help other sentient beings around me with the cultivated dreams i have awakened in silence serves the compassionate service i aspire to bring.

and as always, my friends, family, lover, child, and other myriad creatures who surround me, who i've yet to meet, and who i have since let go of.