generosity

the fruit of silence is prayer
the fruit of prayer is faith
the fruit of faith is love
the fruit of love is service
the fruit of service is peace. ~ Mother Teresa

what does it mean to be generous? i mean truly generous?

last year, i spent a great deal of time trying... generosity and kindness.

i worked in a battered women's shelter, worked with the homeless, and tried to be available to friends and family in any way i could. was i generous? sounds like it... but it is not so...

i gave of my material possessions without any pause. it didn't hurt me to give of my money, clothing, food, or trinkets because i know they are of little importance and provide no real satisfaction to me as a person. by giving these things to those who needed or wanted them, i felt a sense of service and peace... yet love never crossed my mind.

i gave of time, energy, and body... spending hours with those in the midst of circumstances that could break even the strongest spirit. i felt gratitude at my fortune and empathy for their misfortune, all the while keeping hope in my heart by way of my hands to better their situations and hopefully their lives. yet prayer never entered the equation...

i've had tons of conversations with family and friends about the nature of things, both wholesome and unwholesome, quoting books i had read, thoughts and feelings i had and beliefs i hold true... all the while never questioning if my 'wisdom' brought peace or fear, stillness or chaos. was i generous?

giving is a wish granting jewel
fulfilling the hopes of living beings
the best weapon with which to cut the knot of miserliness
a bodhisattva action which gives rise to indomitable courage
and spreads one's fame in the ten directions
knowing this, the wise follow the good path of Completely giving body, possessions, and virtue...

so i am going to do this again...
working on perfecting my generosity
reaching out towards the true benefit
and remembering to perform with:

meditation before my action
faith in my movement
love as my motivation
and service being the manifestation
so that the fruitation of my intention is peace...